Trials

We are taught that living on earth was a choice and with that choice we have special blessings we can receive if we follow the teachings of Jesus Christ.  I believe this, I live this.  We are also taught that with this life we have received there will be challenges and trials that will test our faith.  For each person these trials are different.  Some people have addictions that become their trial, some so desperately want to have a family of their own and that becomes their trial, there are many, many trials.  Our trial over the last 10 years is the financial one.  EVERY time we get ahead...we think our head is above water and things are looking up the rug gets pulled out from under us.  That's not to say we have not been blessed in our endurance of this trial.  We have been very blessed.  Even though bad things happen they always turn out okay quickly.  We never have to suffer for too long.  Although, this particular trial we are facing seems to have phases...one day we're fine, the next we're not so fine.  It is frustrating.  Faith that we'll get through this fades and then we see just a little light which lifts us just enough to get past the current problem.

As I sit here and contemplate the last few weeks I am thankful for the blessings we've received... I'm thankful for the Lord tolerating my meltdown and giving me comfort when I finally asked for it.  The one thing I have complained about these last few weeks has not been my problem...its been the fact that I'm tired of seeing everyone elses' lives fall into place and work out as I sit here in my life constantly waiting for things to work out for us.  It is a form of envy and it is wrong, but it is also human and normal.  A friend of mine wrote me and told me of her family's trial, which is similar to mine and let me know after 4 years her husband finally found a job.  Her effort to make me feel better worked until I realized we're staying here in Vegas and that fate could very well be my husband's fate.  So, we'll continue living with my parents until things fall into place.  I just hope it doesn't take 4 years to happen.  No matter what, when it does, I know the Lord's hand will be in it and he has his reasons that I just can't see right now.

Hind sight is 20/20